Love a duck?

Well one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling  of 10 glorious years.
 
After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead!
 
Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another mate, but since there weren't
any lady eagles available he'd have to cross the feather barrier.
 
So he flew off to find a new mate. He found a lovely dove and brought her back to the nest.
 
The sex was good but all the dove would say is ......... 'I am a DOVE,  I want to love! I am a DOVE, I want to love!'

Well this so got on Harry's nerves so he kicked the dove out of the  nest and flew off once more to find a mate..
 
He soon found a very sexy loon and brought her back to the nest. Again  the sex was good but all the loon would say is........
 
'I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON, I want to spoon!' So out  with the loon.

 Once more he flew off to find a mate. This time he found a gorgeous  duck and he brought the duck back to the nest. This time the sex was
great, but all the duck would say was.....

NO, The duck didn't say THAT !

 .... Don't be SO disgusting!

 The duck said....
 
 
'I am a DRAKE,
You made a MISTAKE!!

The Police

As a student I undertook a task to find if there was any coralation between jobs and which street name people chose to live at!

The only two with any similarity were British Police officers and Japanese men! 

The Police Officers that replied invarably lived in Letsby Avenue and other and suprisingly there were many......lived in a house called Movealong Now, also on Letsby Avenue!

The other group and not a profession were Japanese people. According to taxi drivers, the Japanese chaps all jump in the back and say Harrow taxi driver! However some do appear a little bemused when they are dropped of in a town in Middlesex!

Sad I know, but made me smile! 

Lottery

My wife informed me if I won the lottery she would take half and f*** off!


OK, I replied I won £10 on Saturday! here's £5, now f*** off!

********

My wife asked me the other day if I'd still love her if I won the lottery?

I said, of course I would............but I'd miss you!