Showing posts with label dirty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dirty. Show all posts

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Being a man

Why its better to be a man

1. We keep our last name. 
2. The garage is all ours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. We can be president.
6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8. The world is our urinal.
9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
10. Same work, more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress - £5000; Suit rental - £100.
13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
16. One mood, ALL the time.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18. We know stuff about tanks.
19. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
20. We can open all our own jars.
21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
23. Our underwear is £10 for a three-pack.
24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
27. We almost never have strap problems in public
28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. We don't have to shave below our neck.
31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.
34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

 

Thursday, 2 September 2010

What would you do?

A middle-aged man returns home from a business trip a day early, concerned that his wife may be having an affair. He's riding in a taxi at about 2:00 in the morning back towards his house, when he explains his situation to the taxi driver.

It's after midnight. While en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.

He explains to the cabbie that he suspects his wife is sleeping around on him, and offers the him $50 if he would be a witness to the affair, if he could catch her in bed with him. By the time they reach his house, the cabbie agrees.

They park a few doors down and, quietly, sneak into the front door and up the stairs. Then, with a burst of speed, the husband flicks on the bedroom lights and rips the blanket off the bed - and there his wife lays in bed with another man!

Out of his coat pocket, the visibly distraught husband pulls out a gun and puts it to the naked man's head. Just then, his wife yells "Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited all that money!..."
HE paid for the Mercedes I gave you.
HE paid for our new cabin in the mountains.
HE paid for your Atlanta Braves season tickets.
HE paid for our our lakehouse and boat.
HE paid for your country club membership, and and HE even pays the monthly dues!'

Shaking his head, unsure of whether to pull the trigger, he looks over at the taxi driver and asks "What should I do?"

The taxi driver replies, "I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold."

Monday, 2 November 2009

Why Do Men Like Dirty Adult Jokes?

It's true. Some men don't like adult dirty jokes, but I think you'll find that most men love them. Even guys who appear very conservative at first look, will often surprise you with a joke that they spring on you.

Why do men like adult dirty jokes? Simple. Most men like to laugh. At an early age, most men are exposed to bathroom humor and other juvenile humor. Their fathers sometimes tell them, or they may hear them from their friends. For whatever reason, it never seems to wear off. They go through their whole lives appreciating bathroom humor, juvenile humor, and other humor.

It's also kind of like being part of a secret club. It's kind of a bonding thing. When guys share adult dirty jokes, they are opening up to each other, sharing a laugh, and experiencing a brief connection. Women wouldn't appreciate such an exercise in bonding - it's a guy thing.

Jokes are also often shared during times when men are together for manly activities such as at the bar, hunting, working on cars, golfing, etc. Humor is always part of these experiences and adult dirty jokes often play a role.

Explaining why men like adult dirty jokes is analogous to explaining why a man climbs a mountain or why a man scratches himself. There is no easy answer. It's just part of being a man. In short, it's a guy thing. They are not for every man, but they simply a part of life for others.

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