The doctor entered the room and advised his patient that a brain transplant was the only remedy.
"Fortunately" he continued, "this hospital has perfected the procedure,
however, it is not yet available on the National Health and you will
therefore have to pay.
We have two brains in stock at the moment, a male brain costing £30,000 and a female brain at £100,000"
"Why is the female brain so expensive?" asked the patient.
"Oh, that's easy, female brains are hardly used."
Tuesday, 10 November 2009
Friday, 6 November 2009
Joke, girlfriend trouble
A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn girlfriend.
"She gets me so angry sometimes I could hit her, the young man exclaimed."
"Well, I'll tell you what I used to do with my wife" replied the Boss. "Whenever she got out of hand I'd take her pants down and spank her".
Shaking his head the young guy replied "I've tried that... it doesn't work for me. Once I get her pants down I'm not mad anymore."
"She gets me so angry sometimes I could hit her, the young man exclaimed."
"Well, I'll tell you what I used to do with my wife" replied the Boss. "Whenever she got out of hand I'd take her pants down and spank her".
Shaking his head the young guy replied "I've tried that... it doesn't work for me. Once I get her pants down I'm not mad anymore."
Thursday, 5 November 2009
Joke
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
TOP TEN LINES FROM INTERNET CHAT ROOMS
1 You're different... I've never felt like this about someone I've never met before.
2 I'm new online and haven't had time to create a profile... but tell me more about yourself.
3 I never do Cybersex! Yet here in this room alone with you, well, I'm getting excited.
4 I'm 5'4, blonde hair, blue eyes and everyone loves my body!
5 I'm 6'0, great tan, and buffed from working out.
6 Yes of course I'm female...
7 I'm in this private room consoling a depressed friend.
8 No this is my only screen name... You mean you can have more then one?
9 I'm not like most of the guy's/gal's here, I want to meet so we can just have coffee and get to know each other. (at the hotel coffee shop)
10 I don't care what you look like, it's what's on the inside that counts (Which is true, it means: I'm horny and could care less, just type)
2 I'm new online and haven't had time to create a profile... but tell me more about yourself.
3 I never do Cybersex! Yet here in this room alone with you, well, I'm getting excited.
4 I'm 5'4, blonde hair, blue eyes and everyone loves my body!
5 I'm 6'0, great tan, and buffed from working out.
6 Yes of course I'm female...
7 I'm in this private room consoling a depressed friend.
8 No this is my only screen name... You mean you can have more then one?
9 I'm not like most of the guy's/gal's here, I want to meet so we can just have coffee and get to know each other. (at the hotel coffee shop)
10 I don't care what you look like, it's what's on the inside that counts (Which is true, it means: I'm horny and could care less, just type)
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
Blacksmith job
Paddy applies for a job as a blacksmith.
In the interview he is asked has he any experience of Blacksmith work, Paddy says no! Well the employer says have you any experience of shoeing horses? Paddy thinks about this, well no but I've told a few Donkeys to sod off!
Monday, 2 November 2009
Married?
One rainy Sunday afternoon, a young couple were on their way to their Church to get married. On the way there, their car lost control and slammed into a telephone pole – killing them both instantly.
The couple soon found themselves standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, welcoming them to Heaven. The young woman asks Peter if they could get married in Heaven, since their time on Earth was cut short. He replies that he’ll get back with them on that request.
A month later, St. Peter finds them and announces that they can – in fact – get arried in Heaven. To his suprise, the woman asks “Just wondering, if things don’t work out will we be able to get a divorce?”
With a stern look in his eye, Peter blurts out “Look lady, it took me a month to find a preacher up here… you really think I’m gonna find a lawyer?
The couple soon found themselves standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, welcoming them to Heaven. The young woman asks Peter if they could get married in Heaven, since their time on Earth was cut short. He replies that he’ll get back with them on that request.
A month later, St. Peter finds them and announces that they can – in fact – get arried in Heaven. To his suprise, the woman asks “Just wondering, if things don’t work out will we be able to get a divorce?”
With a stern look in his eye, Peter blurts out “Look lady, it took me a month to find a preacher up here… you really think I’m gonna find a lawyer?
Why Do Men Like Dirty Adult Jokes?
It's true. Some men don't like adult dirty jokes, but I think you'll find that most men love them. Even guys who appear very conservative at first look, will often surprise you with a joke that they spring on you.
Why do men like adult dirty jokes? Simple. Most men like to laugh. At an early age, most men are exposed to bathroom humor and other juvenile humor. Their fathers sometimes tell them, or they may hear them from their friends. For whatever reason, it never seems to wear off. They go through their whole lives appreciating bathroom humor, juvenile humor, and other humor.
It's also kind of like being part of a secret club. It's kind of a bonding thing. When guys share adult dirty jokes, they are opening up to each other, sharing a laugh, and experiencing a brief connection. Women wouldn't appreciate such an exercise in bonding - it's a guy thing.
Jokes are also often shared during times when men are together for manly activities such as at the bar, hunting, working on cars, golfing, etc. Humor is always part of these experiences and adult dirty jokes often play a role.
Explaining why men like adult dirty jokes is analogous to explaining why a man climbs a mountain or why a man scratches himself. There is no easy answer. It's just part of being a man. In short, it's a guy thing. They are not for every man, but they simply a part of life for others.
Visit us at http://www.realmanmag.com for more.
Franklin Pierce is Publisher of Real Man Magazine men's magazine. The world's most popular men's magazine for the man's man. Subscribe for FREE and receive the book "How To Attract More Women" for FREE. No catches, no strings, no bull. Simply sign up and you'll get a new issue twice a month. WARNING! Contains politically incorrect material. Not for girlie men or the easily offended. May cause hair growth, increased testosterone, and spontaneous attacks by aroused women. Read at your own risk! http://www.realmanmag.com
©2009 Real Man Magazine
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Franklin_D_Pierce
Why do men like adult dirty jokes? Simple. Most men like to laugh. At an early age, most men are exposed to bathroom humor and other juvenile humor. Their fathers sometimes tell them, or they may hear them from their friends. For whatever reason, it never seems to wear off. They go through their whole lives appreciating bathroom humor, juvenile humor, and other humor.
It's also kind of like being part of a secret club. It's kind of a bonding thing. When guys share adult dirty jokes, they are opening up to each other, sharing a laugh, and experiencing a brief connection. Women wouldn't appreciate such an exercise in bonding - it's a guy thing.
Jokes are also often shared during times when men are together for manly activities such as at the bar, hunting, working on cars, golfing, etc. Humor is always part of these experiences and adult dirty jokes often play a role.
Explaining why men like adult dirty jokes is analogous to explaining why a man climbs a mountain or why a man scratches himself. There is no easy answer. It's just part of being a man. In short, it's a guy thing. They are not for every man, but they simply a part of life for others.
Visit us at http://www.realmanmag.com for more.
Franklin Pierce is Publisher of Real Man Magazine men's magazine. The world's most popular men's magazine for the man's man. Subscribe for FREE and receive the book "How To Attract More Women" for FREE. No catches, no strings, no bull. Simply sign up and you'll get a new issue twice a month. WARNING! Contains politically incorrect material. Not for girlie men or the easily offended. May cause hair growth, increased testosterone, and spontaneous attacks by aroused women. Read at your own risk! http://www.realmanmag.com
©2009 Real Man Magazine
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Franklin_D_Pierce
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